ASK EVE: Questions from our Readers
The answers provided on “ASK EVE” are not meant to provide counseling or therapy. Please contact Susan L. Kleine for your specific therapy needs.
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The answers provided on “ASK EVE” are not meant to provide counseling or therapy. Please contact Susan L. Kleine for your specific therapy needs.
From a "Significant Other":
Hi Eve,
Can there be such a thing as “too much” together (family) time? I find myself sometimes looking for things to do to keep my independence. I also dislike when my “significant other” complains when I work longer than my hours are scheduled. This is sometimes necessary in my line of work. It makes me feel hemmed in and smothered. Please help me Eve.
DEAR SALLY:
Thank you asking this thought-provoking question. Relationships do require care so that both persons can experience greater joy and fulfillment.
I find myself wondering about your level of commitment in a relationship with someone that you call your ’significant other’. If your loved one was a husband or a “boyfriend”, I might better know how to proceed with your question.
An impression I did have was that you value ‘being family’ but are struggling with other confused feelings.
Things you can do right now:
*Examine if you have felt similarly in other relationships you have had
*List long-term what you would want in a relationship as you believe God would ordain it
*Decide if you are ready to count the cost and to do the work to make the relationship be what you both want it to be
*Plan what actions and changes are necessary to get to that place
Seek help from a trusted person or professional if you feel overwhelmed or unable to make progress towards your individual goals or your shared goals as a couple.
EVE
29 January 2008, 4:43 pm